Conflict Resolution

Hello from Conflict Resolution Coordinator Alissa

My name is Alissa Abelson, and I am FSMN's Conflict Resolution Coordinator (CRC), as well as a middle school humanities teacher. As the CRC, it’s my job to oversee and coordinate the conflict resolution program here at FSMN, which draws from the Quaker commitment to nonviolence. The conflict resolution program actively teaches children alternatives to violence. Children are introduced to the process starting in kindergarten, and  gain problem-solving skills through practicing the techniques of the program on a regular basis. I’m responsible for training teachers, staff, and parents in the program to reinforce the community commitment to solving conflicts peacefully.  

Over the course of the school year there will be articles in the newsletter with information and interesting details about the conflict resolution program. There will also be conflict resolution training. Training will take place on Tuesday, October 30 2018 at 6:30pm. I hope to see new and returning families at this event.

If you have any questions about conflict resolution at FSMN, please contact me at

In the Daily Life of the School

Friends School of Minnesota’s conflict resolution program has been in operation since the school opened in 1988. Drawing on Quaker commitment to nonviolence, FSMN staff developed the conflict resolution program to actively help children learn alternatives to violence.

Children at Friends School of MInnesota are introduced to the process when they begin kindergarten, and gain problem solving skills through practicing the techniques of the program on a regular basis. Teachers, staff, and parents are trained in the program and so reinforce for the children the commitment the community has made to solving conflicts peacefully.

The conflict resolution program at FSMN uses three elements which are integrated into the daily culture of the school.


Conferences are meetings to address misunderstandings and conflicts between two or more individuals. One half-hour period is available each day for conferences. In a conference an adult facilitator helps individuals listen to each other, identify feelings, and work to come up with a plan to resolve the issue.

Group Gatherings 

Group gatherings are meetings to address issues affecting a whole community.The meetings are structured to promote community problem solving. Children feel free to participate because names are not used and the focus is on working together rather than on fault-finding.

Modeling by Adults

Modeling by adults is an important component of the program. When the entire school community uses the same program, it permeates the behavioral and ethical life of the school. Research has shown that student-only programs, such as many peer mediation programs, are not successful in the long run because school-wide commitment to the program is lacking.

Read our blog posts about conflict resolution at Friends School of Minnesota.


Sharing Our Conflict Resolution Experience

Friends School of Minnesota shares its experience with conflict resoultion with other schools by offering

  • a training DVD called I-to-I: Integrating Conflict Resolution into the Elementary School Community, an award-winning 35-minute DVD showing the successful conflict resolution program developed and used by Friends School of Minnesota since 1988; Details | Purchase now $22.00
  • a training manual, the product of eight years’ use of the program; Details | Purchase now $12.00
  • combination package of both the training DVD and manual for one lower price; Purchase now $30.00
  • in-person training in the FSMN Conflict Resolution Program for half or full day sessions. Includes a copy of I-to-I,  training manuals and, if requested, introductory materials for classroom work on conflict resolution;
  • consulting with principals, teachers, social workers, parents, and other staff;
  • a conflict resolution coloring book (right click to download the PDF, 139K), written and illustrated by former FSMN 5th grader Patrick Raines.

For more information on training, consulting or support, contact Alissa Abelson by email or phone: 651-917-0636.

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